New Release Tuesday is hours away! 4/9/13

Hey there all,

Tomorrow is usually the second greatest day of the week...New Release Tuesday! Not so much this week however. Here is a look at what's coming out tomorrow, I'll give you a hint...nothing...nothing is coming out tomorrow.

This week, like the rest of April, will be a doo-doo week for new releases. However, don't let that discourage you too much, because the second half has some gems to deliver yet, but I digress. Here is a list of what is coming out this week:

• Hyde Park on Hudson
• The Sorcerer and the White Snake
• Bad Kids go to Hell
• Late Bloomers
• The Kitchen
• Boss: Season 2
• Merlin: The Complete Fifth Season

The only one of these lumps of coal that I've seen is, Bad Kids go to Hell. My brother and I were up one night and looking for something to watch. As you all know, horror is our hands-down favorite genre. So as we were cycling through the offerings on XBox Video, we stumbled across this. We had never seen it, and it was obviously a "D" movie at best, but we were in the mood for something campy and fun. Had I known what I was about to bear witness to, I would have literally done anything else.

Please, I implore you, do not watch this film. Shaving yourself from head to toe, then covering your entire, newly shaved body in chunky peanut butter (which ever brand you prefer), then dressing yourself as pirate and jumping into a large aquarium while listening to Meatloaf's "I Would Do Anything" would be a far better use of your time.

I would not dare to insult Paul Bettany or Scott Stewart by even giving this movie a rating on their scale. If you were in this movie, or had anything to do with it's making, you should be ashamed of yourself, and I hope you live forever with this guilt.

As for the other releases this month, none really sound very interesting or appealing, so I won't be watching any of them. If you choose to however, just know that you do so at your own risk.

Stay tuned however, as I said before, next week we begin to see light at the end of the tunnel of the crapfest that has been April's movie releases.

Thanks for reading!

- Franc